Traveling with Vibrators

Ok, everyone, wish me luck. I’m finally headed onto a plane with vibrators in my suitcase! I’m going to the Sundance Film Festival to film the promotion of the new Vida line of luxury pleasure objects at the famous festival. I’ve heard nothing but horror stories from our sales people about traveling with vibrators. Some have been pulled aside into customs, some have been asked to open their suitcases and pull out what ever is vibrating… Here’s to hoping I don’t have any similar stories.

 

We rubbed elbows with the cream of the Hollywood crop on January 13th at Voyeur for the Vida Launch Party. Check out the celebrities that graced our red carpet and watch the video here.

Leonardo DeCaprio was there! (This isn’t what he looks like now, but this is how I wish he still looked! I’m a total pedophile!) He snuck in the back door, but I swear he was there. It really doesn’t get better than Leo. Sigh… Perez Hilton even talked about the party, mentioning Snookie from Jersey Shore was there. I’d complain about Jersey Shore and say I can’t believe it’s “entertainment” but I refuse to even watch it.

Other guests, aside from lovely myself, included actors Shane West, Jonathon Schaech, Simon Rex, Christopher Masterson, actresses Lindsay Lohan, Natasha Henstridge, Carmen Electra, Dedee Pfeiffer, Jana Kramer, Kate Linder, former professional wrestler Stacy Kiebler, Pussycat Doll Jessica Sutta, former Girl Next Door star Bridget Marquardt, and the entire cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore. The evening was hosted by Sofia Vergara and featured a performance by Robin Thicke.

Well, I’ll let you know if I get held up in customs or arrested for having vibrating luggage. Hmm, vibrating luggage… That’s an interestig idea…

 

 

 

Life at the Dildo Factory finds me swallowing strangers’ semen!

I had so much fun making this video with my friends at Topco Sales. I think it’s pretty apparent!

SEMENEX sweetens the salty-bitter taste of semen when a guy drinks the delicious shake mix for 3 days. Check out the hilarity for yourself:

(We didn’t actually drink a strangers semen…)

Here’s the URL so you can embed it on your own sites and blogs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTuAIVuIrH8

Grab the Semenex Challenge widget from www.SemenexChallenge.com

 

Anal Friendship Bracelet

My friend sent me this email, with a note saying that I should write things like this just to fuck with people. I love what a crazy “creative writing” forum Craigslist has become. People are writing the craziest stuff there! My boyfriend spends hours reading the “Best Of” Craigslist.

 

Don’t take my word for it, read hem for yourself! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

 

Lindsay, Me and the Paparazzi… At the Malibu Beach House!

Life at the Dildo Factory catapulted me into the middle of a paparazzi media storm last Thursday! I parked across the Pacific Coast Highway from the Malibu Beach House and was standing in the center turn lane, waiting and waiting for traffic to stop so I could cross the street. Guys kept slowing to check me out, but none of them would stop and le me cross! I had to finish setting up the Topco Sales Top Secret Room before Lindsay Lohan was supposed to arrive.

Suddenly a black Infinity zooms aroud me, pulls into the center turn lane and makes a left into oncoming traffic. I can’t believe it! I can feel that there is another car uncomfortably close to me, so I turn around and there’s Lindsay in her convertible Lexus, about to turn into the beach house. I take advantage of the screeching traffic and dart across the street, just as Lindsay is walking into the house. I elbow my way past the paparazi and follow her in. They even caught me on paparazzi video:
http://x17video.com/celebrity_video/lindsay_lohan/today_is_lindsays_birthday.php
(I’m the one with the black hair!)

Lindsay went into the Topco Top Secret Room and made a bee-line for TLC’s hot pink Private Dancer stripper pole, did a few twirls then became enthralled with the Grrl Toyz Lipstick Vibe.

All girls love this vibe. It’s totally incognito and can just hang out in your purse for those “special moments” when you find yourself alone.

Other A List celebs that have visited the Beach House include Tori Spelling, Busy Phillips and (my fav!) Dexter star, Jennifer Carpenter. Many other fabulous people are slated to visit the Beach House this month. To keep up with all things Malibu Beach House , check out http://topsecretroom.topcosales.us/  and watch out for the paparazzi! They’re crazy drivers!

 

My Favorite Midget Tranny…

I never, in my life, thought I would even have a favorite midget tranny. But they’re fascinating. Who isn’t captivated by little people – never mind the fact that they’re little chicks with dicks. And often, surprisingly, quite big dicks for such little chicks.

The Tranny O’ the Month is Lil’ Paloma. In perusing her photos, it appears that she chose to get a butt implant instead of breast implants. An interesting choice!

Who doesn’t love this loveable little person tranny with a hot pink feather in her hair?!

 Just do a Google Image search for Lil’ Paloma. There are some awesome picturs of her out there. You’ve got to check out the butt implant. As a woman, I find the whole concept of butt implants fascinating. I think there should be like, a donor situation: any woman who wants a butt reduction can donate her fat ass to a tranny who currently has a tiny butt, but who would rather have a large ass. Symbiotic surgery. It’s gonna be all the rage one day. Mark my words.

Below is the banner I found on her site, http://lilpaloma.com/front.php. I love it, it says, “Hi, I’m Paloma. I come from Spain and I love to party. Guys are always attracted to me. They love to pick me up and toss me around, it’s HOT.” My favorite line is: “I’m from Spain and I love to party.” As if there isn’t a WHOLE lot more to this complex litte person! She might be little, she says, but her cock is full size, baby! Decide for yourself: www.lilpaloma.com

I have to give a shout out to Ruby Washington, still one of my faves (see my older post about Miss Ruby: http://lifeatthedildofactory.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/tranny-fetish-oh-it-gets-better-little-person-tranny-fetish/) and check out the LovelyLadyBoy site: http://lovelyladyboy.com/?p=7

And THIS looks interesing, Bridget the Midget Powers in a space age porn:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, for those of you that are just fascinated by midget porn stars, not necesarily tranny midget porn stars, check out: http://pornmidgets.amazingpass.com/

 

 

 

 

 

Who is YOUR favorite midget tranny pornstar??

 

OMG. Wow, would YOU do these dolls??

If you’ve been following my life at the dildo factory, you know it takes me places I’d normally never go. Well, in doing some research, I came across this website: www.blowmeupsexdolls.com. It had me ROLLING, laughing out loud. My co-workers were all like, “What’s so funny?” And I couldn’t even answer. It’s a site that blows up all the inflatable love dolls on the market so dudes (and chicks) can comparison shop. Here’s what was cracking me up:

WHO would find this sexy?!?!??!! It looks like Dee Snider from Twisted Sister!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is like a horror movie! I just imagine a guy pulling this out of the box and dropping it , screamng!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, just – what?!?!?!? Purple pubes?!?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If that vapid “blonde” look turns you on…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, if the John Holmes Deluxe Realistic Doll really actually IS realistic, I didn’t realize he had such a long… neck and such huge… shoulders.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The super sexy plastic surgery facelift nightmare doll… Her lip injections look good though…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For those of you that get turned on when your chick is YELLING AT YOU!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you like a girl who loves suprises… and always looks surprised…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cleopatra. What the…?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IT’S A MAN, BABY!! I think I saw “her” on the corner of Santa Monica and Highland on Saturday night. Aye Papy…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are a few dolls that I think look pretty good… The Angelina Jolie look alike doll…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND, she’s got ink! Just like Angie!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This one talks! Which, in my opinion, completely defeats the purpose OF a doll. Why not just get a real girl???!?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All joking aside, I was stunned to learn that inflatable dolls sell REALLY well. So, who am I to judge?!

Happy Blowing,
Ali

 

Fetishes I didn’t even know I had

Oh my god, this is so brilliant!
I got a little hot around the collar watching it. Ahem, what does that say about me… It’s like a combination of a few fetishes that I didn’t know I had: furry, balloon, and bunny. Three sexy fetishes all rolled into one awesome ad! Let’s hear it for Durex bringing fetish to the mainstream!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’d Think it would be Easier To Hire a Stripper in Los Angeles…

We make a Stripper Pole Kit called the Private Dancer Pole Kit, which is designed for people to put up in their house so they can enjoy a little strip club fantasy in the comfort of their own home. It is a “kit” because it includes a full-size stripper pole, in pink or silver, play money, an erotic dance DVD, a feather boa and a garter.

Well, now that the product is out, it’s time to shoot a video of the pole in action, being used in in a home. Suddenly I realize I need to get an actual stripper to demonstrate the pole on camera. You can’t just get any old ”actress” to do this kind of shoot… Have you tried to lift your own weight on a stripper pole? I have and it’s so much harder than it looks. I alway think “That doesn’t look so hard; I can do that,” then I pull a muscle in my shoulder trying, and realize that I should just leave it to the “pros.” 

Mentally scrolling through my rolodex, I realized… I don’t know any strippers. Anymore. Ahem. So, tomorrow I’m going to Crazy Girls on La Brea in Hollywood with my very willing new boyfriend to scope it out and hopefully find the perfect girl to help me out. I’ll report back…

……………..

… Ok, so mission accomplished! But it wasn’t easy! My guy and I rolled into Crazy Girls on a Friday night and it was totally dead! I guess it was sort of early… Girl after girl got on stage and performed her little twirls, but none of them were right! I was totally losing faith! NONE of them had any of the interesting moves I remembered seeing the girls do in the “good ‘ole days!”  These girls were all “prancers,” not dancers! The pressure was building… It was 11pm and I didn’t have time to go to another strip club- I had to find someone this night at Crazy Girls! I shook my head, apologized to my date and decided to just give up. I went to the bathroom lamenting the fact that all my stripper girlfriends had either lost their cell phones or moved “home.” 

I racked my brain thinking of other nearby strip clubs. The closest one was 7th Veil on Sunset, which is fully nude. Ugh… I really didn’t want to go to the 7th Veil… The one time I had to pick up a paycheck there I got the heebie geebies just walking through there! (Crazy Girls and 7th Veil were owned by the same people…)  

As I came out of the bathroom, the girl on stage was actually cute, had an awesome body and had the MOVES!!

When she got off stage, I stood near her, waiting for her to finish talking to the two men she was flirting with… (Hey! The girl was workin’ I didn’t want to interrupt!) My boyfriend was laughing at me across the room and waving his arms, telling me to come back to the table. I didn’t understand what he wanted so he got up from the table, walked up to the girl, slapped a $20 in her hand and said, “When you’re done, come talk to my girlfriend.” He grabbed my hand and dragged me back to the table.

I’m sure she thought me and my man wanted a lap dance, but I wanted something else entirely… As I waited for her, I reveiwed in my mind what I was going to say to her, but realized it all sounded BAD… Very BAD…

“Hi, I’m Ali, I’m shooting a video…” No, that sounds like I make porn films…

“Hi, I’m Ali, I’m a director and I’m making a video about a stripper pole that we manufacture…” That sounds… better…

“I have cash for you if you will come dance on a pole for me on Tuesday. I’m directing an ad for a stripper pole.”

That’s basically what ended up coming out of my mouth. She was so adorable - she said, “Yay for you! You’re directing?!” We exchaned numbers and I was terrified that she wasn’t going to show up on Tuesday.

Well, she made it to the location, on time (stripper time), and it all went well. I slapped “Disco Motherf#@ker” by Penfifteen Club on the video and it looks great! Check it out and learn some of my favorite stripper moves for yourself!

Or watch it in high quality on youtube by clicking here and choosing “watch in high quality” under the volume button:

 

i love cock.

Working at a dildo factory has really allowed me to come out of the “cock closet” and just declare it:

I LOVE COCK!

I love being surrounded by cock all day at work. I like my desk covered in cock. I like to write about cock, I like to think about cock. I like to come up with names for cock. I like to dream about cock.

So when I vacation, there’s just one place I feel comfortable. A place where I’m surrounded by cock… constantly. Cock in the morning, cock in the evening, cock at dawn… so much cock you almost can’t sleep. Cock: waking you up, and sometimes keeping you up through the night.

There’s cock in the middle of the road; sometimes you have to swerve to miss it. There’s cock on the beach, in the park… I’ve been known to chase cock, eventhough it’s not very lady like, I just can’t help myself. The cock is so big and magestic; I’m just magnetically drawn to the cock.

Yes, the island of Kaua’i is the place for a girl like me who loves to chase cock. If you love to be surrounded by cock, Kaua’i is the island for you. There’s so much cock on the island, no one even bats an eyelash if you’re chasing cock around the park. I swear– I did it! I like Kaua’i in the winter, because flights are pretty cheap and there are less people, so the cock to tourist ratio is pretty high and you’re sure to get all the cock you could possibly want.

My favorite cock is the big, magestic cock. The kind of cock that struts his stuff and knows he’s the shit. Until next year, my sweet, dream cock… Adieu…

 

How to Name Dildos, Part 1

People ask me, they say, “Dildo Chick, how do you name so many dildos day in and day out?”

I do wonder in amazement about it myself sometimes… How could I name hundreds of dildos and not repeat myself or run out of names… It’s truly a gift. I’m like… a cock whisperer. I hold it delicately in my hands and… listen… listen to the cock… listen to the cock… let it….. tell……. me…………

I don’t force my names upon it. No, it tells ME what it is. It shows ME it’s essence, then I choose a witty name that captures the essence the dildo felt comfortable enough sharing with me.

You might think I’m joking… but I’m not. I mean, I don’t actually hear the name, but I do close my eyes and see what comes to me.

Some of my favorites…

Ok, wait, in looking over our latest release, there are no AMAZING names, like my man’s favorite: the Ballsy Super Cock by Doc Johnson. (brilliant!) The problem is that we try to get information into the name, so… Ok, I want to share some of my favorite toys that we make with you. I named these. And you can see how we try to cram info in the name. “Why don’t you demand to have ONLY witty names,” you ask? I choose my battles wisely…

Noveltease™ Inflatable Beach Ball-Sac

Noveltease™ Don’t Spit – Swallow!, Penis Shot Glass

Heart-On Orgasm Ball

Lex Steele™ 10X Low Ridin’ Love Bullet®

Virtual Sex: Featherweight CyberSkin® Cock and Ass

Caesar 2.0 Love Machine 110V, Pink

Bad Seed™ Kong Sized Black Dong with DVD

Bad Seed™ EZ Bend 7X Vibrating Double Shocker with DVD

Kimberly Williams PleasureSkin® 36DD Breasts

Marco Banderas Uncut CyberSkin® Cock

Tommy Gunn Sexxx Bullet

Joanna Angel™ Vibrating CyberSkin® Doggy Style Pussy and Ass

Joanna Angel™ Spiked Duotone Balls, Punk Ass Pink