Life at the Dildo Factory

Vida at Sundance Video!

funsextoyreviews — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:53:33 +0000

It was freezing, but it was a blast! The Vida Vixens hit the streets of Park City during the Sundance Film Festival and stoked everyone with adorable pink Vida beanies!

We had the massagers out on the street and people got a KICK out of that!

Even the mysterious Agent Vida made a brief appearance; just long enough for a few snapshots, but not long enough that they would be able to pinpoint her location.

Filed under: the odd, Uncategorized Tagged: agent vida, Sundance Film Festival, Topco Sales, tranny midget, vbrators, Vida, vida beanie, vida beanies, vida vixens

My Litte Pony Names vs. Porn Star Names

funsextoyreviews — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 22:24:14 +0000

I love the wacky people at The Brunching Shuttlecocks. They came up with this quiz. I got 6 out of 12 WRONG!

She has flowing hair, smooth skin, languid eyes, and she’s completely naked. Are we discussing here a star of one of the approximately four hundred thousand single-, double-, and triple-X-rated films out there, or one of the approximately four hundred thousand different “My Little Ponies” they flooded toy stores with in the Eighties?

That’s what we’re here to find out. Below is a list of names. Each name belongs to either a porn star, or a My Little Pony. Your job is to try and tell the fornicator from the latter. Supine or equine? New Wave Hookers or new-agey hoofers? You make the call.

		Porn Star or Pony
		Cherry Treats
		Lucky Star
		Love Melody
		Daisy Sweet
		Sunshine Blue
		Honey Rose
		Ruby Lips
		Misty Rain
		Green Eyes
		Heart Throb
		Chocolate Delight
		Sweetie Pie

Click to see how well you know your little pony stars:

http://www.brunching.com/toy-pornorpony.html

Filed under: the odd Tagged: my little pony, porn star, quiz

A “Happy Holidays” Email I Received…

funsextoyreviews — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 21:29:44 +0000

Once again, working at the dildo factory has shown me things I’d never otherwise see.

I received a “Happy Holidays” email from Pure Talent. Not knowing who they were or what sort of talent they represent, I clicked on http://www.pure-talent.com and perused the “Feature Entertainers.” (I realize that says “Feature” not “Featured”.)

Joy! A collection of the largest-breasted women I’ve ever seen, all in one place! AND midgets too! (No tranny midgets though, sorry everybody.)

Wow.

They’re SO amazing (I’m being serious) that I have to share them with you!

What’s it like to have tits this big…

…And then be outdone by a chick with tits THIS big…?

HOW do you get a chiropractic adjustment with these? Cuz you know you’ll need one!

Ok, that just looks painful.

How do these girls stay in shape? Can you even jog with those? WHERE do you shop for jog-bras in that size?

HOW do you hug someone? Platonically.

HOW do you… see your feet?

Sleeping on your stomach is OUT of the question.

If I was a pretty midget, like Bridget the Midget, I’d totally do porn too. (Seriously. I’m not judging.) I totally dig Bridget. How adorable is she?

Little Lacie… Oh honey, this isn’t the right look for you.

This one not so much either.

This works waaaaay better Capt’n.

Filed under: the odd Tagged: big breasts, bridget the midget, huge breasts, little lacey, midget, midgets, porn star, topless

Traveling with Vibrators

funsextoyreviews — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 22:44:11 +0000

Ok, everyone, wish me luck. I’m finally headed onto a plane with vibrators in my suitcase! I’m going to the Sundance Film Festival to film the promotion of the new Vida line of luxury pleasure objects at the famous festival. I’ve heard nothing but horror stories from our sales people about traveling with vibrators. Some have been pulled aside into customs, some have been asked to open their suitcases and pull out what ever is vibrating… Here’s to hoping I don’t have any similar stories.

We rubbed elbows with the cream of the Hollywood crop on January 13th at Voyeur for the Vida Launch Party. Check out the celebrities that graced our red carpet and watch the video here.

Leonardo DeCaprio was there! (This isn’t what he looks like now, but this is how I wish he still looked! I’m a total pedophile!) He snuck in the back door, but I swear he was there. It really doesn’t get better than Leo. Sigh… Perez Hilton even talked about the party, mentioning Snookie from Jersey Shore was there. I’d complain about Jersey Shore and say I can’t believe it’s “entertainment” but I refuse to even watch it.

Other guests, aside from lovely myself, included actors Shane West, Jonathon Schaech, Simon Rex, Christopher Masterson, actresses Lindsay Lohan, Natasha Henstridge, Carmen Electra, Dedee Pfeiffer, Jana Kramer, Kate Linder, former professional wrestler Stacy Kiebler, Pussycat Doll Jessica Sutta, former Girl Next Door star Bridget Marquardt, and the entire cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore. The evening was hosted by Sofia Vergara and featured a performance by Robin Thicke.

Well, I’ll let you know if I get held up in customs or arrested for having vibrating luggage. Hmm, vibrating luggage… That’s an interestig idea…

Posted in the odd Tagged: decaprio, jersey shore, leo, leonardo de caprio, lindsay, lindsay lohan, lindsey, luxury pleasure object, massager, snookie, Sundance Film Festival, vibrator, Vida, vida internationale

Life at the Dildo Factory finds me swallowing strangers’ semen!

funsextoyreviews — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:21:47 +0000

I had so much fun making this video with my friends at Topco Sales. I think it’s pretty apparent!

SEMENEX sweetens the salty-bitter taste of semen when a guy drinks the delicious shake mix for 3 days. Check out the hilarity for yourself:

(We didn’t actually drink a strangers semen…)

Here’s the URL so you can embed it on your own sites and blogs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTuAIVuIrH8

Grab the Semenex Challenge widget from www.SemenexChallenge.com

Posted in the odd

Anal Friendship Bracelet

funsextoyreviews — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 23:03:13 +0000

My friend sent me this email, with a note saying that I should write things like this just to fuck with people. I love what a crazy “creative writing” forum Craigslist has become. People are writing the craziest stuff there! My boyfriend spends hours reading the “Best Of” Craigslist.

Don’t take my word for it, read hem for yourself! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

Posted in the odd Tagged: anal friendship bracelet, craigslist

Lindsay, Me and the Paparazzi… At the Malibu Beach House!

funsextoyreviews — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:23:54 +0000

Life at the Dildo Factory catapulted me into the middle of a paparazzi media storm last Thursday! I parked across the Pacific Coast Highway from the Malibu Beach House and was standing in the center turn lane, waiting and waiting for traffic to stop so I could cross the street. Guys kept slowing to check me out, but none of them would stop and le me cross! I had to finish setting up the Topco Sales Top Secret Room before Lindsay Lohan was supposed to arrive.

Suddenly a black Infinity zooms aroud me, pulls into the center turn lane and makes a left into oncoming traffic. I can’t believe it! I can feel that there is another car uncomfortably close to me, so I turn around and there’s Lindsay in her convertible Lexus, about to turn into the beach house. I take advantage of the screeching traffic and dart across the street, just as Lindsay is walking into the house. I elbow my way past the paparazi and follow her in. They even caught me on paparazzi video:
http://x17video.com/celebrity_video/lindsay_lohan/today_is_lindsays_birthday.php
(I’m the one with the black hair!)

Lindsay went into the Topco Top Secret Room and made a bee-line for TLC’s hot pink Private Dancer stripper pole, did a few twirls then became enthralled with the Grrl Toyz Lipstick Vibe.

All girls love this vibe. It’s totally incognito and can just hang out in your purse for those “special moments” when you find yourself alone.

Other A List celebs that have visited the Beach House include Tori Spelling, Busy Phillips and (my fav!) Dexter star, Jennifer Carpenter. Many other fabulous people are slated to visit the Beach House this month. To keep up with all things Malibu Beach House , check out http://topsecretroom.topcosales.us/ and watch out for the paparazzi! They’re crazy drivers!

Posted in the odd Tagged: lindsay, lndsay lohan, malibu beach house, paparazzi, Topco Top Secret Room

My Favorite Midget Tranny…

funsextoyreviews — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 21:20:42 +0000

I never, in my life, thought I would even have a favorite midget tranny. But they’re fascinating. Who isn’t captivated by little people – never mind the fact that they’re little chicks with dicks. And often, surprisingly, quite big dicks for such little chicks.

The Tranny O’ the Month is Lil’ Paloma. In perusing her photos, it appears that she chose to get a butt implant instead of breast implants. An interesting choice!

Who doesn’t love this loveable little person tranny with a hot pink feather in her hair?!

Just do a Google Image search for Lil’ Paloma. There are some awesome picturs of her out there. You’ve got to check out the butt implant. As a woman, I find the whole concept of butt implants fascinating. I think there should be like, a donor situation: any woman who wants a butt reduction can donate her fat ass to a tranny who currently has a tiny butt, but who would rather have a large ass. Symbiotic surgery. It’s gonna be all the rage one day. Mark my words.

Below is the banner I found on her site, http://lilpaloma.com/front.php. I love it, it says, “Hi, I’m Paloma. I come from Spain and I love to party. Guys are always attracted to me. They love to pick me up and toss me around, it’s HOT.” My favorite line is: “I’m from Spain and I love to party.” As if there isn’t a WHOLE lot more to this complex litte person! She might be little, she says, but her cock is full size, baby! Decide for yourself: www.lilpaloma.com

I have to give a shout out to Ruby Washington, still one of my faves (see my older post about Miss Ruby: http://lifeatthedildofactory.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/tranny-fetish-oh-it-gets-better-little-person-tranny-fetish/) and check out the LovelyLadyBoy site: http://lovelyladyboy.com/?p=7

And THIS looks interesing, Bridget the Midget Powers in a space age porn:

Ok, for those of you that are just fascinated by midget porn stars, not necesarily tranny midget porn stars, check out: http://pornmidgets.amazingpass.com/

Who is YOUR favorite midget tranny pornstar??

Posted in the odd Tagged: lady boy, ladyboy, little person tranny, midget trannie, midget tranny, tranny, transvestite, transvestites

OMG. Wow, would YOU do these dolls??

funsextoyreviews — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 00:48:00 +0000

If you’ve been following my life at the dildo factory, you know it takes me places I’d normally never go. Well, in doing some research, I came across this website: www.blowmeupsexdolls.com. It had me ROLLING, laughing out loud. My co-workers were all like, “What’s so funny?” And I couldn’t even answer. It’s a site that blows up all the inflatable love dolls on the market so dudes (and chicks) can comparison shop. Here’s what was cracking me up:

WHO would find this sexy?!?!??!! It looks like Dee Snider from Twisted Sister!

This is like a horror movie! I just imagine a guy pulling this out of the box and dropping it , screamng!

Ok, just – what?!?!?!? Purple pubes?!?!

If that vapid “blonde” look turns you on…

Ok, if the John Holmes Deluxe Realistic Doll really actually IS realistic, I didn’t realize he had such a long… neck and such huge… shoulders.

The super sexy plastic surgery facelift nightmare doll… Her lip injections look good though…

For those of you that get turned on when your chick is YELLING AT YOU!

If you like a girl who loves suprises… and always looks surprised…

Cleopatra. What the…?

IT’S A MAN, BABY!! I think I saw “her” on the corner of Santa Monica and Highland on Saturday night. Aye Papy…

There are a few dolls that I think look pretty good… The Angelina Jolie look alike doll…

AND, she’s got ink! Just like Angie!

This one talks! Which, in my opinion, completely defeats the purpose OF a doll. Why not just get a real girl???!?!

All joking aside, I was stunned to learn that inflatable dolls sell REALLY well. So, who am I to judge?!

Happy Blowing,
Ali

Posted in the odd

Fetishes I didn’t even know I had

funsextoyreviews — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 18:49:30 +0000

Oh my god, this is so brilliant!
I got a little hot around the collar watching it. Ahem, what does that say about me… It’s like a combination of a few fetishes that I didn’t know I had: furry, balloon, and bunny. Three sexy fetishes all rolled into one awesome ad! Let’s hear it for Durex bringing fetish to the mainstream!

Posted in the odd