August 2008

I didn’t realize what a charmed life I was living until I started writing this blog. I knew my job and my life were interesting, but I’m really enjoying the process of putting the focus on little parts of my work life via this blog.

Last weekend, I went to Mandalay Bay, in lovely Las Vegas, and hung out at the “Beach.” If you’ve never been, totally go! It’s just like being at the beach, except there’s no SALT on your skin! There is still screaming children and crashing waves, but this is offset by the bikini clad cocktail waitress delivering you drinks all day.

I met up with my friends and we were all on the “list” to get into Moorea Beach Club, which is the topless pool at Mandalay Bay. Which, by the way, if you have the right hotel room, like mine, you can see into the topless pool. I thought how STOKED a 10 year old boy would be if he had the right room and a pair of binoculars.

Dude, it was like the essence of the word DEBAUCHERY. The pool was TOTALLY crowded – people just standing in the water, like they would normally stand around a night club. And about 1/5 of the female population was topless. 75% of the topless people were, of course, OLD. Why is it that the 50+ set are the ones who are “feelin’ free” and happy to take off their shirts? There was a handful of pretty girls with their tops off. Well, actually, I have no idea if they were pretty – I didn’t look at their faces; I was so distracted by the fact that they were topless. I guess their boobs were pretty.

I turned to my friend, who is also in the “biz” like me, and said, “I’m sure this would be titillating if I weren’t so jaded. I feel like I’m at work.”

We got some drinks at the outdoor bar and tried to find a seat. Impossible. But we ran into a woman my friends knew. She stood out in the nearly naked crowd because she was topless and wearing the stringiest string bikini I’ve ever seen. It was that dental floss thing. No tan lines. My friends said hello to her and she jumped up and gave everyone hugs… And suddenly it seems to me incredibly intimate to give friends greetings hugs while topless. Right?! My male friends happened to have their shirts on, but wouldn’t naked breasts pressed against a nude chest be considered intimate? Call me old fashioned, but…

I got a handshake. Which was fine with me.

It was, indeed, another hard day at the office…

I spent two days in Culver City at VCV Communications shooting thousands of pictures of beautiful people for my company’s next catalog. Just one of the many perks of working at a dildo factory. It’s not ALL hair nets and closed-toe shoes!

I was assisting Marianne, the Art Director. I was in charge of model releases and keeping the production on schedule. The first model up was Anthony Nelson. He’s super sweet and nice, with a-mazing abs (of course) and a bright white smile. Anthony is an up-and-comer – he told me he just did a huge campaign for Macy’s. You can’t put your finger on his exotic good looks; he told me his ethnic makeup, but I forgot – I remember he’s part Native American though.


Being a more mainstream model, Antohy had never done such a sexy photo shoot as the one we threw him into. He had to roll around with Penthouse goddess, Laura Lee. She’s HOT. What an amazing figure. Tiny waist, huge boobs, great ass. She was a wonderful high fashion model, which is what we were shooting – high fashion. But for some racier pictures of Laura Lee, go here: 



















After we got the shot we needed and Laura got off Anthony, he said, “I need a cigarette!” and everyone laughed. The shoot got even more fun when I fould some batteries and revved up a few of the sex toys we had on hand for product shots. I turned the climax rabbit on “high” and stuck it in the photographer’s armpit. He jumped and squirmed and said in his French accent, “Ooooh! It give me a hard on!”

The hair stylists completely cornered me, asking me all kinds of questions about what each of our vibes do and where they could buy our toys. I showed them how you’re supposed to touch the vibe to your nose to mimic the sensitivity of your more private parts. Everyone laughed and laughed! I forget that normal people get all squirmy and nervous around vibrators! I forget I’m not “normal” anymore! As Dominic Figlio’s abs paraded in front of me for the 50th time, I couldn’t help but think how some people are just blessed with height, lean body mass, a well proportioned physique and how lucky they are that there is such a thing as the Modeling Industry. Curses! I’m only 5′ 1″!

I was excited to work with Dominic, having watched him on the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. He was actually sort of quiet and shy when he got to the studio, but as the Red Bull kicked in, he became more relaxed. We’ve worked with him before and we’re always happy with his abs, I mean, his work.

My favorite shots of the day were BY FAR the ones with Laura Lee on the couch surrounded by Anthony and Dominic. Yum! A Love Sandwich. My favorite kind of sandwich! 







  Love Sandwich






My first week of working in the adult novelties business has to be one of the most bizarre weeks of my life. I saw cocks everywhere: a tree trunk with two bushes at the base, the way a shadow would fall on a building… it was surreal.


But really, nothing has compared to my experiences with molding porn stars. We have signed and molded quite a few porn stars.  When I started, I was in the molding room for all of them, the idea being that I would go interview them so I’d have quotes when it came time for a press release announcing their “pussy” or “cock” to the world.


The very first molding I witnessed was Bree Olson. I’d never spoken to a porn star before, let alone spent 4 hours in a small room with one. Bree is quite a girl. She’s definitely in the right business. Direct quote: “I just love to fuck.” I’m not easily shocked, but she kept catching me off guard with her frank statements. She watched YouTube on her Sidekick while spread eagle with 4 people pouring goop over her perfectly shaved pussy. Very relaxed. Then we molded her tits, then finally her face. I couldn’t watch that- I was getting claustrophobic!


She was hitting on the Latina molding assistant. Hard. Saying, “She’s hot,” and checking out her ass.


Here was our conversation:

Me: What are you thinking about, right now, while being molded?

Bree: “Weirdest shit… when all the races combine—if the world doesn’t end before that—what the final product of that’s going to look like and what the male dick is gonna look like. Average dick size is my favorite size.”

Me: What do you think about the porn business?

Bree: “Love it. I’m a horny bitch all the time. I love getting fucked in the ass all the time. That’s all I think about most of the time.  I’m a girly girl but I think about sex all the time.”

            Me: Were you always interested in porn?                   

            Bree: “When I was young, I thought ‘What’s wrong with me that I always have these thoughts about sex?’ Now that I’m older and in the industry, I’m happy that I can talk about whatever I want cuz I’m mostly around people in the industry, and I feel like my thoughts are normal where as I used to feel ashamed about my thoughts.”

            Me: Any final thoughts?

Bree: “I’m just happy– I thank god everyday for my pussy and being able to get pummeled.”


While Bree was definitely an interesting character, it was muuuuuch more, uh, distracting when I interviewed Tommy Gunn. I came into the room half way through the molding process. He was already naked, hard and laying on the molding table. They had already poured the goop on him, and he was laying there with the head of his cock sticking out, pressed against his tight stomach. (My boyfriend at the time didn’t think this story was as funny as I did. I don’t understand guys and their territorialism, swear. As if just seeing his cock is going to make me want to fuck him or something…)


I tried my best to keep eye contact with Tommy, but I couldn’t help it. I had to keep looking down at the tip of his hard cock, all pink and full. This was during my first week, so I wasn’t jaded toward all this stuff yet and it was mildly thrilling.


Anyway, he was very nice, professional. He answered all my questions. He got into the business because a girlfriend who enjoyed his sexual prowess suggested he should. He was in a band and worked on motorcycles before he got into the biz. Here’s what he has to say to the ladies:

“Unfortunately you can’t have me in flesh and blood, but you can have a replica. I’m flattered that you want to take me home.”

Is it wrong if I buy one of Tommy’s molded cocks since I was in the room while it was being molded? It seems strange somehow…


Topco Sales Releases Tommy Gunn Replica Toys

Topco Sales has expanded its Wildfire Celebrity Series with three new products inspired by adult performer Tommy Gunn.